the randomness of a lonely girl....

Hey all,

the pic above is a pic that my friend Richelle took, i liked it so i borrowed it.

I have had both an amazingly wonderful week and an amazingly horrible week. Im at the gate doing work, well actually im done the work, im actually just hiding now.... hiding from reality. I do that. there was something i wanted to go to tonight, but i didnt... i guess its silly but i really didnt feel wanted. so here i am, in the gate, alone and feeling sorry for myself.

I went the the third day concert sunday night, that was a freaking awesome time of worship... not at all concert like. then on the way home, there was a bad accident where someone died and another was airlifted to hospital, and it held up traffic for hours. I felt bad for the people involved, but thank goodness it was only one car.

I have been working like crazy but i never seem to get ahead, and yet i give my 10 percent and what not.... i think its just poor stewardship with what i am given, on my part.

I had a lot to say, I wanted to say all the amazing things that have been going through my head, but i just cant seem to bring them out.... i really did try to write down stuff all week. maybe it will all come back to me.

So here are some random thoughts going through my head....

have you ever wanted something so badly that you are willing to give everything up for it? something that isnt bad to want, or bad to have, it just may be bad to want it in the way you want it.....

Have you ever been willing to go anywhere someone? No matter what that meant, and what you would have to do....

Have you ever listened to a song, or looked at a painting and all of a sudden everything you've ever wondered about was explained to you in details you could never imagine?

where will we end up in this world.... i used to "know" where i would be in 5, 10 20 years, and now im 28 years old and nothing is the way i thought it would be. i thought i would be married and have kids and a ministry by now... and here i am, single, no kids, and i run around doing odds and ends for all the pastors around me. its wierd how you can see something and your timing is sooooo different than reality. sometimes i wonder if it is all going to come to pass, sometimes i dont care, and sometimes i hold on to faith that it is....

well, im going to go, eat chocolate, sleep and go back to work.

-me